The Rise and Fall of the Cybernetic Policeman

Man, it's amazing the things you can find out about. I read this thing the other day about this experiment they had in Detroit back in the 80s. It was the peak of the car industry and just before Detroit turned from the city of industry into the city of mass unemployment that it is today. I think that this experiment might have even had something to do with the downfall of that once great city. At the time, Detroit was basically owned and controlled by this company called O.C.P who were into all kinds of crazy shit. They could do what they wanted with the city, so on one hand they had these crazy expensive cybernetics and robotics programs that had something to do with the police, on the other hand they controlled all of the major crime networks. They would amp up police presence on the streets and the gangs would retaliate so that in the end O.C.P were making money hand over fist on both sides of the fence.

Anyway, one of the cops got pretty badly shot up and somehow they transferred his brain into this amazingly advanced robot and, I'm serious, it fucking worked. There were problems which I'll get to but the fucking thing got up and walked around, it did shit, it could shoot a gun, hell, they even made it go out and be a actual policeman, well, robot. I mean, fucking take that Roomba, sure you can vacuum my room and I don't have to bother with you, but that robot police, man, it was something else. It could make judgment calls. It could drive a fucking car. They're still having those competitions now where people have to build robot cars that drive themselves across the desert. It pains me to think of all the wasted technology just sitting in some warehouse in Detroit somewhere, waiting to be used.

And what a robot it is, I mean, this thing is bullet proof, can move independently, it's like the ultimate fucking cyborg, I mean, it's insane that they're not still using this technology now, who knows what sort of awesome robot world we could be living in. Just think, we could have Stephen Hawkin up and running around and not just running around but laughing as he kicked the doors off cars and juggled hand grenades as they blew up harmlessly in his face. Fuck, we could have had Christopher Reeves not only still alive and playing superman, but being an actual superman, you know, flying around and shit. I mean, imagine that.

But of course, there were problems, you can't just go sticking a human brain into a robot body with out some side effects. Like, the brain had kind of forgotten who he was but then he kind of remembered and realized that his previous life was over and of course, freaked the fuck out. I mean, come on dude, you know what its like when you go out and have a big night and kind of wake up some where that you're unfamiliar with and it freaks you out? Well imagine that but you slowly wake up and your entire body has been replaced with steel. I mean, that shit will fuck you up for years, not just days. This is not waking up lying in a bikies bed with womens underwear on surprise, this is waking up to find out that you may no longer have any genitals or internal organs or a need to breath surprise. The other kind of bad surprise.

See, this is one of those situations where in hindsight, perhaps jumping straight in and building a deadly, almost indestructible robot wasn't the best idea and maybe experimenting on something smaller and less lethal might have been a better option. I mean, they built him with and in-built gun and holster. And yes they fucking regretted it. He stormed the O.C.P head office and shot a bunch of people, I mean goddamn, it was a robot with psychosis what did you think was going to happen? They were just lucky it didn't decide to take out its anger on suburbia or decide that every blond woman resembling his wife needed to join his robot harem, you know, heaps of things could have happened, what if this robot cop had a thing about black people, how would they have explained that? Luckily, the only people he killed were the evil O.C.P executives otherwise we would have never heard the end of it.

Oh, and I almost forgot, for some reason it ate baby food.