If I lower mine to yours would you kiss me on the face?

So it's Christmas yadda yadda yadda, you know the shtick, seeing some family, eating a lot, receiving some presents and wondering where the rest got to. Mine was ok. Actually, it was great. I did the usual things that we'd all expect including falling asleep on the couch with my mouth open and eating the same meal 4 times in a row. I saw my parents which was nice, but as always, slightly uncomfortable. And I'll tell you why.

Their toilet is too high. When I sit on it I can swing my legs (not advisable when pooing) and that also means that you don't really sit in the toilet but perched on top of it. So I can never poo properly when I am there. So it makes me uncomfortable. Not the worst complaint ever but you know, not the best. When I was younger I remember having to take my skateboard in with me to rest my feet on because the seat was too damn high. By younger I mean in high school. I needed a skateboard to poo at home in high school. Audible exhalation of breath.

Baby I'm tired and baby what tires me is serving women I want to move in with. I was just serving this girl with all these tattoos and she was was wearing this perfume and I swear it fogged my brain because all I could think about was what the back of her neck would feel like under my nose and whether or not she would slap my hand away as I traced the outlines of her tattoos, would she roll towards me and would I lower mine to to hers and would we kiss in that slow timeless way and would aeon's roll by as our passion consumed us?

Would I finally be happy?

Don't answer that.