I am a caged beast and you will lose a finger.

You know boxers, those guys that go out and hit each other in front of crowds, you know, the sportsmen not the underwear, have you ever seen how before a fight they pace up and down and throw their shoulders, how they toss their heads and jump up and down, keep themselves primed and ready for the fight. Do they ever look like animals to you, did you ever see one and think that he was loose and that soon someone would come back and put him in his cage?

I feel like that now. I keep pacing up and down, my shoulders involuntarily hunch as if i am about to throw punches at invisible robots. I feel like i could put my fist through this monitor here in front of me and it wouldn't even phase me. I reckon i could tear the head of a lion if only to suck at its blood, i feel like i could take a man apart with my bare hands just for something to do. I feel like I want to have my knee in someones back and their arm in my hands and slowly, with the patience and inevitability of an iceberg, slowly twist it up and over their shoulder blades until i hear it crack. Treasure that moment where bone starts to splinter and when the screams are involuntary.

I am man with a few issues at the moment but none of them are mine. I am a holding tank for injustices served upon others. I am a fire hose of rage left unattended to flail everywhere, spraying hate all over everything, dousing it all with loathing. I am an animal in the dark, waiting, all my muscles tense as i prepare to leap upon you. My teeth will gouge your throat and my claws will rake your liver, i will howl at the moon and all my hair will bristle.

Apparently a friend of mine was raped a little while ago and she told me today that now she sees all penis' as weapons. From what i can gather, some men took advantage of her while she was drunk and you know, I have been too afraid to ask exactly what happened in case she actually tells me. I couldn't tell you why but it has made me so amazingly mad that even writing this i am resisting the urge to pick up the key board and smash it against the monitor. I have a thousand yard stare yet i can hardly see past my own fury. I am blind with it.

I remember having this "how did you lose your virginity?" conversation with a group of girls and two of them said that they didn't lose theirs, it was taken, and i remember thinking, "Geez, I wish i were dead". Doesn't make sense you say? Alright smartarse, you tell me the appropriate response.