Mirror Mirror on the Wall

So by now we've all read about that guy that went into a dance class in America and shot a whole bunch of women? Pretty sad really. I don't know why he targeted women most of all, it seems very weak to me. Anyway, so I found a copy of his blog and it was disturbing reading, if only for the reason that it could be said that my blog is very similar in theme and tone. Only, without the women hating, but definitely with the remorse and the loneliness.

Just so we are all on the same page here, I am in no way planning a massacre, but it is interesting to see some of my thoughts echoed by a killer. I also enjoyed some of the comments on the blog, for instance "His like (sic) makes you realize that everyone must reach out to each other and love each other".

No, we don't, but we have to become stronger people if were are going to endure this life alone, and the sad fact is that most of us will. The world is a cold and lonely place and quite often we find ourselves with our backs to the wall and no support of any kind. This is just how things are. To deny it and to hold out hope for some miracle to come down and save us from it all is only going to make the final descent all the more traumatic.

It is totally retarded, but sometimes we have to pick ourselves up and say "OK, I am totally fucked and hate my life and everything in it, but if i take the most extreme options open to me, all I will create is more heart ache and suffering, better to suck it up and deal with it and if necessary, slowly isolate myself from people so they don't even notice when I am gone". Don't be selfish about these things, let people love you if they must, but nothing says you have to return the favour. Sometimes I think that the only thing keeping me here is the fact that I would disappoint so many people, ain't that selfless of me?

Where did it go so wrong? When did it become OK to isolate yourself completely from the world? How did it become so easy to be so removed? What do we expect to gain, if anything? As much fun as it is to sit out side of everything and look in, I can only wonder, where will we go from here? It is a very difficult thing to admit to, being lonely, but its even harder to do something about it. Friends and relationships are not like razor blades. You can not just go out and buy them.