Hardly worth dying for.

So I gotta tell you about how I was watching this fantastic documentary the other day on this ‘hero cop’ in Los Angeles. It was freakin’ AMAZING! Did you ever hear about that hostage situation that happened in the late 80’s at some place called the Nakatomi Plaza? The story is that some guy, a policeman, was there visiting his wife for her corporate Christmas party. Man, shit went off the hook. First up a bunch of German guys took the whole place hostage, demanding that the executive of the company opens the vault. Apparently there were a whole stack of ‘bearer bonds’ (whatever they are) inside that they wanted and when the executive didn’t open the vault, the executed him! Man, that shit was fucked up. I mean, it’s like if someone came into my shop and shot me because I couldn’t open the safe, I mean, Jesus, I don’t even have a key!

I tell you, the human spirit is one to be reckoned with. I mean this cop, I think his name was John, he got stranded with no shoes and no gun in a building he’s never been in and what does he do? Does he lie back and say ‘fuck, guess I’d better play some getting-to-know-you games with the other hostages’? No, he mans the fuck up and goes hunting, that’s right, hunting the other terrorists.

I don’t want to give too much away but lets just say that this guy is like MacGyver meets Stallone. I mean, he’s resourceful and kicks ass like it ain’t no thang. For instance, mother fucker is so pissed at this posse of terrorists that he kills one and then dresses the corpse up in Christmas lights and writes a message on its jumper and then puts it in a lift and sends it to the floor where all the other terrorists are hanging out. No joke, these guys almost literally shit they are that scared. I swear, could you imagine their faces when the elevator chimes and then out spills Corpsy McMessage-written-on? I mean, you couldn’t write this stuff if you tried.

So while all this is happening the terrorists have made the building look like nothing is happening, they cut off all the phones and they even put a pretend security guard out the front. After Mr McClane sets off a fire alarm the police do the pissyest drive by ever, the cop drives up, doesn’t stop and almost drives away. I was on the edge of my seat at this stage, I mean, I knew that somehow Mr McClane had to survive (to sign away the rights to the documentary) but man, I had no idea how. Wanna guess how he did it?

He threw a corpse out the window and it landed on top of the police car. That’s how that mother fucker survived. Like, damn, that is some serious shit. It’s almost like that plane crash years ago in the Andes, you know the one where the people had to eat each other? I mean, it’s a bit like that, but not as extreme. I mean, if someone came to you and said “So here’s that corpse that you have to throw out the window” surely you’d be a little bit like “say what?” I mean, its pretty impressive that this guy did all of this and hardly bats an eye lid.

The thing is though, as the hostage drama progressed you could tell that it was starting to wear ol’ J.M out, I mean, just the mental pressure must have been almost unbearable. Could you imagine being so focused for so long? Whew, makes me tired just thinking about it.

I think the thing that impressed me the most was the amazing camera work. I don’t know if it was CCTV or what but it was excellent. If anything, the more CCTV cameras the better, because look at how good the footage is, I mean, a few more documentaries can’t hurt right?

After all of this though, I can’t remember what the damn thing was called. I’m tempted to say ‘One day in December’ but I’m pretty sure that’s not right. ‘Hardly worth dying for?” something like that? Anyway, check it out, one of the better non-fiction film I’ve seen in ages, almost as good as the one they did on that island off South America, you know, where that guy did all those experiments and ended up creating those giant lizards? Man, that was awesome.